A Stitch in Time
by Raven524
Summary: WARNING SPOILERS: This takes place right after Jump the Shark in season 4. A missing scene after Dean rescues Sam. Surely Dean didn’t make Sam stitch himself up afterwards—or did he?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

**Summary:** WARNING SPOILERS: This takes place right after Jump the Shark in season 4. A missing scene after Dean rescues Sam. Surely Dean didn't make Sam stitch himself up afterwards—or did he?

**Raven 524**: I know this has been done before but decided to go ahead and post this missing scene. I couldn't help but wonder if the loss of blood was worse for Sam due to his addiction to demon blood. So here is my take on what happened after Sam was injured leading up to the bon fire in the end.

**A Stitch in Time**

**Chapter 1 – It's in the Blood**

Dean pressed harder on the accelerator as his mind played out worse case scenarios. How stupid could he have been? It was clear now that the monster has played both of them. It wasn't after Adam—it had been after Sam! The sight of Adam in the coffin, his guts ripped open brought bile to the back of his throat. What if he was too late? From the look on Adam's face, he was betting the poor kid had been alive when the monster had begun its feast. Would he find his brother with the same look?

"No! You hold on Sam damn it!" Dean yelled into the empty car as he pulled up outside the modest home. He still wasn't sure what the hell they were fighting, but grabbed his sawed off anyway. The young hunter leapt from the car and moved quickly towards the door. He wanted to burst in, but it wouldn't do Sam any good if he was captured. So he slowed down and listened. The scream he heard however drove any sense of caution to the wind—Sam was in pain.

He raised his leg and kicked at the obstacle in his path. The door splintered on the first kick, the hunter moved quickly inside with his gun raised. His eyes automatically searching and finding what he'd lost—SAM! His brother was tied down to the table like a Thanksgiving feast. Two monsters were sniffing him and laughing as his brother moaned and struggled. The woman looked up startled as he barreled into the room. Dark red blood painted her mouth and face—his brother's blood; it was a sure sign that the feeding had begun.

He aimed and took a shot at Adam before he could attack. His father's son flew backward into the wall and slumped to the ground. Dean took aim at the mother but paused as he heard his brother's warning.

"Dean, They're ghouls!" Raising the gun a notch, he quickly changed his shot to separate the monster's head from its neck.

"Which means headshot!" He remarked as he moved to the table. He could see his brother was losing blood fast. He had to stop the bleeding before—"Oof!"

Something large rammed into him, shoving him through the door and onto the floor. In that moment he realized his mistake—a rookie one at that. Never check on the wounded until you're sure the enemy is neutralized. As the struggle continued, Dean couldn't help but think his father would be disappointed—all his sons could die today because he'd been stupid.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The pain in Sam's arms increased as he struggled against the strong ropes holding him. Part of him wanted to go help Dean. But the room spun even as he heard the steady drip, drip, drip of his blood into the bowls below. He looked over at his arm and winced as the red fluid gathered and fell from the ragged slash marks. As he twisted, it flowed faster—the damn ghoul had been right. The more he struggled the more blood he was going to lose.

Sam turned his head weakly and gazed at the sound of something hard hitting flesh. He squinted to make out the figure and smiled with relief when it turned out to be his big brother. Of course, he never should have doubted Dean would get the upper hand. For a moment, Sam felt like old times. His brother was beating the crap out of the fuggly and any moment now would come to help him out—or would he?

It was no secret they hadn't been the same since the hell hounds tore more than Dean's body apart. Sam had waited for the old Dean to come back, to take charge but so far he hadn't. Instead Dean had become more introspective, more cautious. Hell had changed them both and Sam was sure it wasn't for the better. He shook his head as his vision swam. He had to stop the bleeding soon or it wouldn't matter.

"Dean" Sam panted, willing his eyes to remain open as he watched his big brother pause and look over at him. He blinked slowly as Dean moved quickly towards him. A knife appeared and began to cut the ropes holding his arms. White hot pain raced down his limbs as he tried to move them. The torn flesh screamed even as he felt a strong hand behind his shoulders to guide him upright.

"All right. Here we go—here we go" Dean's soft voice grounded him for the moment as he fought the vertigo sitting up caused. He felt the soft towels wrapped around his arms, slight pressure brought fresh waves of pain crashing over him.

"Here we go buddy…" His big brother continued to put pressure on the wounds as he continued to cut Sam free. Sam slid sideways for a moment but soon righted himself as his brother continued to staunch the flow.

"All right—all right…" Dean continued to say softly, maybe more for himself than for Sam's benefit because from where he was sitting, it was so far from all right. He let his head fall forward for a brief moment before looking up at his big brother.

"Thank you" Softly spoken, but accepted with a slight nod by his brother.

"That's what family is for right? Now keep pressure on that…" Sam felt a final squeeze as he moved his right arm over his left, trying to comply with the softly spoken command. He gazed blearily at the figure of his brother as he moved to the end of the table and began to work on the ropes holding his legs down.

"Hold on for just a few more minutes Sam—I have to take care of a few things real quick before we leave. You with me Sam?" Dean paused and placed a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to respond but for some reason his words refused to come. Sam nodded slowly, swallowing against the nausea that suddenly made its appearance. He could still feel the pulsing of his blood through the towels, the ache in his side, even his ankle which had been sore before; now throbbed.

A soft pat on his shoulder brought the young hunter back to the present. He should be helping Dean clean up the mess. He watched as Dean quickly pulled the two bodies together into the middle of the room. He placed the shotgun by Sam, his intent clear without words. His brother looked at him again for a brief moment, worry evident before he turned and left the house. A shiver ran up Sam's spine as he gazed at the two bodies.

The woman had said Adam was really their brother. For a short time, he'd actually enjoyed being the 'big brother'. But then, it really hadn't been his father's son he'd gotten to know—not really. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he felt the loss of someone he didn't even know. Of course, it was clear Adam had been dead before they arrived, but it still felt like they should have been able to do more. Another Winchester killed by monsters of the night; the family curse.

Sam jumped slightly at the sound of footsteps returning. His hand automatically reached for the gun. Fire exploded as his fingers grasped the barrel. The sound of the gun dropping to the floor was drowned out by the groan torn from his lips. He curled his arms back to his middle and began to rock slowly back and forth as he managed the pain.

"Hey, it's only me Sam. Just give me a few more minutes and we'll get you sewn up. I'm gonna have to burn the house. It's the only way to make sure any sign of us is gone and make sure these two son of a bitches don't make a return appearance." Sam blinked as he watched his brother work. Ever efficient and true to his word, Dean managed to salt the bodies and cover them in gasoline before he returned to check on him. A hand on his shoulder was the signal it was time to leave.

"Ready to leave this place Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah" Was all Sam managed as he swung his legs to the edge of the table. He was grateful for the assist as getting down without using his arms proved to be a challenge. As his feet hit the floor, his bad ankle buckled. Strong arms prevented him from falling as Dean took on more of his weight.

"I've got you Sam—just lean on me."

A soft smile formed on Sam's face, it had been so long since he'd heard those words from his brother—too long…

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean looked over once more at his shivering little brother. He chewed on his lower lip as he reached over to pull the blanket up higher. He'd managed to get a pressure bandage on his brother's arms when they had come back to the car, but he wondered yet again at the wisdom of not heading straight for the emergency room.

Sam had refused and had been insistent to the point of threatening to get back to the hotel himself. While he could appreciate his brother's dislike of hospitals, it didn't make sense. There was something wrong with his little brother and it had nothing to do with what the ghouls had done. He hated that his brother was keeping secrets from him but he hated even more that he could no longer get an accurate read on his brother.

There had been a time when he could tell by a look what was going on with Sam. But his little brother had become good at hiding from him—in fact, he was maybe even better than their Dad had been. He looked over and shook his head. Who was he kidding? His baby brother had morphed into a full grown version of their father while he'd been away. Complete with the blinding need to get revenge.

Dean hadn't been blind; he knew his father's obsession sometimes clouded his judgment. It was what had driven a wedge between Sam and his father resulting in the youngest Winchester leaving to go to college. A moment of jealousy rose when he remembered the picture of Adam and his Dad at the ball game. His Dad had found time from his obsession to go to a game with the 'normal' son. He'd managed to keep Adam away from their world while keeping a small part of normal for himself.

Sam had managed normal as well while he was away at college. But he never got that chance. For the first time he felt anger and betrayal over the life he'd been forced to live. And yet, when he looked over at his younger brother he realized Sam had been right. Dad hadn't trained Adam but rather he had sheltered him and look at what happened. So maybe he should be thankful that his father had been obsessed—it kept him and his little brother alive.

A soft moan brought Dean from his musings as he glanced over again at Sam. "Hey, can you hold on just a bit longer Sam? I wanted to get us a few towns over before we stopped. I'm pretty sure there won't be anything for the locals to connect us to the fire, but I don't want to take any chances."

"D'n" Sam's voice was so soft he had to strain to hear it.

"Yeah Dude, you're safe. Just relax; we'll be at the hotel in a few minutes." Dean watched as hazel eyes cracked open briefly before falling closed once more. He had to find a hotel and get Sam sewn up soon. His brother couldn't afford to lose much more blood. One thing was for sure—he wasn't losing another family member, not tonight.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam slowly woke to a world of pain. He remembered snatches of the past few hours. Dean practically carrying him into the room, the painful process of cleaning his wounds and then the stitches that seemed to go on forever. Sam gazed down at his arms and winced as the slight movement brought fresh pain. His leg was elevated and the icepack still rested against his sore cheek. But there was something missing.

He gazed around the empty room; a moment of panic hit him as he realized he was alone. He gazed at the other bed. It lay there unslept in, a sure sign that Dean had not been to bed. He slowly turned his head towards the bathroom, but the door remained open—the room within dark.

"D'n?" Sam croaked his lips dry and his tongue seemed to have swollen too thick for normal conversation. Still, there was no answering call, no worried overprotective brother hovering over him asking him if he as okay. A vague memory surfaced but slid away. They had words? Sam groaned as he rolled over and finally managed to get himself seated on the edge of the bed. The world swam along with his head. Where was Dean and why did he feel like the worst brother in the world right now?

Words flowed through his mind until finally he hit upon the right ones. _"Sam you really need to go to the hospital man, you've lost too much blood." Dean's voice was filled with concern but also a touch of anger._

"_I said no Dean. I can't—you don't understand…" _

"_Then tell me why Sam—what are you afraid they'll find?" _

"_Nothing—I just don't want to go there. I'll be fine Dean. I've had worse believe me…"_

"_Not that I remember Sam…" Dean's hand pressed against his forehead briefly. "You've got a fever too. I think…"_

"_I don't care Dean—I had to learn how to take care of myself for four months—no help—no cold rags—just me and…" Sam looked away for a moment refusing to complete the sentence._

"_Just you and Ruby. You want her to come and take care of you. Fine Sam. Here's the phone. I'm going to go out. It's obvious you don't need me…" Dean turned and grabbed his keys. He was gone before Sam could speak, could explain. _

The young hunter groaned as he rocked slowly on the edge of the bed. The phone his brother left was sitting on the table. Sam picked it up and looked at it for a moment, willing a message to appear from Dean but there was nothing. He dropped his head; a lone tear fell as he realized how badly he'd screwed up.

How could he tell Dean the real reason that he couldn't go to the hospital was because he knew what they would find. The ghouls had confirmed it when the woman had remarked on how he tasted different. Of course, he had wondered for a while now. He went to college, he knew ingesting Ruby's blood—demon blood would change something in him. He just hoped that when it was all done, Dean would understand why he did it.

The anger surfaced as he thought about his sole reason for living right now. He had one final purpose before he died and that was to stop Lilith before she could break the final seal. The fact that he'd also get revenge for what was done to Dean was just icing on the cake. He couldn't tell Dean that he didn't intend to escape with his life; in fact he was willing to sacrifice it. After all, he shouldn't even be here. No, if he told Dean his true plan, his big brother would stop him. That is why he lied to him and that is why he couldn't tell him about the tainted blood now pumping through his veins.

A shiver wracked his frame as the phone fell from trembling fingers. He bent to reach for the fallen instrument but it turned out to be a bad mistake. The nausea and dizziness returned full force. His body lurched forward from the bed, his head hitting the floor with a resounding thump. He screamed as pain shot up his arms when they made contact with the floor. As bile rose and passed over his lips, he couldn't even summon the energy to move. He lay with his cheek in the wet mess, his eyes sliding closed as he realized he deserved to suffer—all he brought was pain, maybe it was time to let it end.

The phone trapped beneath the now unconscious man rang—but there was no answer….

TBC

Raven524: So, should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

**A Stitch in Time**

**Chapter 2 – Suspicious Minds**

Dean slammed back another shot of Jack followed by a beer chaser as he gazed at the pretty young bar maid. In the past he would have been hitting on her, but now—all he could think about was his brother. He rose and headed to a table in the back, bringing his refilled beer mug with him. He couldn't believe Sam wanted Ruby to take care of him. That had always been his job and the one thing he never thought would be questioned.

He knew his brother thought he was weak. He even understood Sam's reluctance to just follow his lead. His brother had to make decisions the whole time he'd been gone. He hadn't expected his little brother to just back off but he also hadn't expected that he'd be replaced so easily. Now apparently even his role of taking care of injured Sam had been usurped by the demon witch.

Ruby, just the name brought a bad taste to his mouth. But he couldn't blame Sam for it all—no he had practically given her the keys to the kingdom when he made the deal. He took another sip of his beer, his anger rising again. He had left Sam in Bobby's care, he hadn't abandoned him. Bobby was the one his little brother should have turned to for help and comfort, not some demon with pretty packaging. The hunter slammed the empty beer mug onto the table. As another one appeared in its place he smiled tightly at the waitress before she moved on to the next customer.

The truth was he was tired. Tired of being the one to have to bear the heavy load, the one who had to save the innocents—hell save the world if you believe what Zach was selling. He couldn't even save the one person who meant the most to him—Sam. His little brother was quickly falling through his fingers. The harder he tried to grasp, the faster he slipped through. So he had been watching and waiting for his brother to ask, to finally need him. He had thought maybe tonight had been that moment.

But he had been wrong. Sam didn't want to go to the hospital, fine. In a way, he could almost understand it. Neither one of them liked hospitals, too many bad things had happened in one. He understood that with Sam's wounds, trying to explain it wasn't an attempted suicide would have been tricky. Yet, his brother should have known he'd come up with a plausible cover for him. No, he'd seen fear in those hazel eyes when he mentioned the hospital—something else was up.

Dean drained the rest of his beer and gazed around the room. So Sam wanted Ruby to take care of him, perfect! He now had a whole evening to enjoy himself. A sigh escaped his lips as he continued to look around the dingy bar. Enjoy himself, right. Here he sat, all alone with nothing but an empty mug of beer for company. Anger warred with a duty that had been his since he was ordered to get Sammy from their burning house. It was a duty he had born proudly and willingly. Sam had been the one thing he'd gotten right—until now.

Pushing himself up from the table he walked towards the door. Drinking only provided a dulling to the pain. He had to talk to Bobby but first he had to get somewhere private. This was a conversation that couldn't be overheard by bystanders or even Sam. As he sat in the Impala, he pulled out his cell phone and punched in the number for their old friend.

"Hey Bobby—you got a minute?" Dean asked as he gazed out into the early morning light. He hadn't realized how long he'd been gone. For a moment he wondered if Ruby had arrived yet to give Sam another dose of medicine.

"Dean? You okay?" Bobby's gruff voice soothed him.

"Depends on how you define--fine Bobby." Dean heard the sigh at the other end. He wasn't fooling his old friend. "No, not really. I don't know what to do Bobby. There's something wrong with Sam—something bad. I don't know what he's doing with Ruby, but it's changing him and I don't know how to stop it." Dean sighed as he let his head fall back on the leather headrest.

"Did you ask him?"

"Of course, but he keeps lying to me Bobby. That's why I know its gotta be something bad. I mean, how much worse can it be than telling me he and Ruby did the demon tango?" Dean shuddered at the memory of that conversation.

"You think she's feeding him somethin' or maybe casting some type of spell—you said she was a witch right?" Bobby remarked. Dean smiled as he heard the sound of a book being opened. He could always count of the older hunter to cut to the chase.

"I don't know Bobby, but he didn't want to go to the hospital after being sliced and diced by the ghoul twins…"

"Is he all right?"

"He lost a lot of blood and it took me over an hour to stitch him up but the last time I checked he was fine." Dean breathed out as he waited for the explosion. He wasn't disappointed.

"What do you mean the last time you checked. You didn't leave that boy alone did you?" Dean was glad Bobby was no where near hitting range. He could see in his minds eye the grimace followed by his friend removing his hat to run his hand through his hair before putting it back on again.

"He wanted Ruby—he told me he didn't need me Bobby so I gave him some space."

"Great and while you were drowning your hurt feelings in a bottle princess, your idjit brother was left alone or worse with a demon? What if he's gotten worse? Ghoul wounds are nothing to mess with. They can become infected easily from the filth they carry on their bodies."

"It's only been a few hours Bobby…I'm heading back there now." An old fear settled in his gut. What if Sam had gotten worse while he'd been gone?

"Look, I'll do some research and try to figure out what Ruby is giving the boy to increase his powers, it could be anything. I'll also work on getting the panic room ready just in case we need it. We may have to separate him from her and it's the only place I can think of that will prevent her from getting access to him—or him getting to her." Bobby's voice softened. "I know it's hard kiddo, but you gotta hang in there for him. He's drowning and you need to be there to throw the life line."

"I know Bobby, it's just—I can't seem to reach him anymore." Dean sighed. He felt useless. The world was ending and he was supposed to stop it. His brother was drowning and he was supposed to save him. But no one could tell him how he was supposed to do it. He hit his hand against the steering wheel in frustration.

"Just go back to him and be there for him. Keep in touch and let me know if you think we need to do an intervention. I'll have the room ready in case we need it; make sure you keep me in the loop." There was a slight pause at before the old hunter continued. "You don't have to do this alone Dean—I'll be here if you need me."

"Thanks Bobby…" Dean said quietly as he hung up the phone. He really didn't know what he'd do if he hadn't had Bobby to help keep him grounded. It wasn't that Sam didn't try, but his brother's mind was definitely not where it should be at the moment. He could see it in his eyes—just like his father, Sam was bent on revenge and nothing was going to get in his way—not even Dean.

As he turned the car around, he dialed Sam. He would just check to see if baby brother needed him to pick up anything on the way home—it wasn't like he was worried, after all Sam was a big boy now right? As the phone rolled over to voice mail, the small voice in the back of his mind grew into a full blown roar. "Damn it!" Dean yelled as he pushed down on the gas pedal. He never should have left his brother alone. He knew Sam wasn't functioning on all fours. If something happened, it would be his fault—again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean slid the key into the lock while he juggled the bag and tray of drinks he'd bought on the way. He couldn't come back empty handed, just in case Sam was okay. This new Sam hated to be fussed over, so he'd play it cool. He wasn't sure what his brother would be able to eat or drink, so he'd brought more than usual. He hadn't seen Ruby's car which was good unless she'd come and got his little brother. A moment of panic stilled his hand. What if Sam was gone? He'd never thought about that little wrinkle when he left. Swallowing, he slowly opened the door and peered inside. His stomach fell when he saw the empty bed.

"Sam!" Dean called out, hoping his brother was just in the bathroom. But only silence surrounded him, silence and—what was the smell? Dean dropped the bags on the table and followed his nose to the scrunched up figure between the beds. Sam was lying in a pool of his own vomit, his legs pulled up to his chest as if he was trying to disappear. Small shivers ran through his brother's body but it was the pain lines on his brother's face that said it all. He must have fallen and injured himself again.

"I can't leave you alone for a minute!" Dean said softly as he gently assessed his brother. He could see a new bruise forming under the long brown bangs. The white bandages on his brother's arms seemed to be fine, a little bloody but not too bad. He moved the sleep shirt up and checked the bandage on his brother's side. His hand stopped as he felt the heat there. "Great, looks like you've managed to get yourself an infection. Don't worry, we'll get you cleaned up and back to your grumpy self in no time."

He didn't know who he was trying to assure, Sam or himself. He carefully reached down and managed to get his brother back onto the bed. A soft groan escaped from his brother's lips but he didn't wake. "Come on Sam, I know you're in there. Time to wake up." Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam's face and waited but there was still no response. He didn't like the heat he felt radiating from his brother. The fever had gotten much worse.

The hunter stood and retrieved the thermometer from their first aid kit. After a few moments, he removed it from Sam's ear and shook his head. "Well you're running a fever of 102 degrees, if it gets much higher, then we will head for the hospital…."

Another soft moan was followed by a low whisper. "No hopt'l"

"Sam? Are you back with me?" Dean watched as Sam slowly turned his head towards him, his hazel eyes were glazed and unfocused.

"D'n? You came back?" Sam coughed as he tried to bring more moisture into his mouth. Seeing his brother's dilemma Dean stood and got a glass of water from the sink. He sat back down and gently helped Sam sit up; his brother's back rested against his chest as he held the cup to his lips.

"I'm here Sam, now just small sips…" Dean watched as Sam swallowed slowly, his eyes at half mast as another shiver went through his body.

"Sssorryy.." Sam stuttered as he turned his head from the glass.

"We'll worry about that later Sam. Besides, this time I think I'm the one who should be apologizing. I never should have left you—I knew you weren't feeling well." Dean sighed as he helped his brother lay back down on the bed. "But we can talk about that later. Right now I gotta get you cleaned up puke boy and then I've gotta clean your wounds again."

Sam simply nodded as the older hunter rose to gather what he'd need. He didn't like the way his brother was shivering. Of course, a lot of it could be due to his injuries and loss of blood. But something was still off. Even half out of it, he could see his brother fidgit on the bed, his head turned towards the door for a moment before turning back towards him. "Are you waiting for someone Sam?"

"No!" Sam managed before he shifted again on the bed. "No, just can't get comfortable…"

Dean knew it was another lie, but decided now wasn't the time to address it. He'd seen the longing look on his little brother's face and it wasn't there because of him. Shaking himself, he realized now wasn't the time to worry about Ruby. He had to take care of Sam. As he gently washed the vomit from Sam's face and neck something fell back into place. His brother might be Mr. Independent now, but he still needed his big brother for something; he still trusted him to take care of him.

Dean tossed the washcloth onto the floor and moved to examine Sam's arms. There was blood on the bandages and he would have to check the wounds. "I'm going to work on your arms first Sam—this might hurt."

His brother only nodded as his eyes followed his movements. It was almost like the young hunter didn't want to let him out of his sight. A pang of guilt ran through Dean as he realized his brother had thought he wasn't coming back. He'd been hurt and running a fever and Dean had left him—something he never would have done before…

He winced at the slight gasp from Sam as he unwound the bandages on his brother's arm. The wounds looked horrific and painful but the stitches appeared to be in tact. To be on the safe side, he once again gently cleaned the wounds before putting a fresh bandage on. He looked up and saw the sweat glistening on Sam's face, his eyes filled with pain and yet his brother didn't complain.

"I have to check the other one Sam, stay with me." Dean didn't expect an answer and he received none. He noticed his brother's hands shake as he pulled his other arm over and began to inspect the wounds. "I know it hurts Sam, just a minute and I'll be done here." He quickly cleaned and once again applied a clean fresh bandage to the arm. He took a moment to glance at his brother and noticed he was weaving slightly, his eyes blinking as if he was trying to focus.

"Hey little brother, do you think you can take some medicine for me? I think we need to get an antibiotic into you as well as some fever reducer. You need to drink more water too—I'll get you some of the sports drink later when your stomach is a little more settled. We have to replace the fluids you lost…" He was rambling; he knew it but what else could he say? Any other conversation was likely to start an argument and that was the last thing his brother needed right now.

"M'okay" Sam mumbled as he tried to push himself up on the bed. A sharp cry fell from his lips as he curled his arms against his middle.

"Let me help you Sam. Seriously dude, do you like being restitched?" Dean kept his tone light as he placed a pillow behind his brother's back. After making sure Sam was settled he headed once more to get a glass of water. He placed the pills in Sam's hand and watched as his brother grimaced but managed to get them into his mouth. Water sloshed over the edge of the glass as Sam tried to drink. Dean placed a steadying hand and soon the water was gone.

"More?" Sam asked as he licked his lips.

"Why don't we see if that stays down first puke boy. You only get one free cleaning per visit." Dean smiled softly as he got the expected Sammy eye roll.

"Jerk" Sam replied as he started to snuggle back down onto the bed.

"Bitch" Dean replied as he helped him. "I'm going to give the painkillers I gave you a little time to take effect before I clean out your side. Why don't you rest for a few minutes…" Dean watched as his brother's eyes closed. He almost missed the soft words…

"Thanks D'n"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam groaned as he felt a hand on his shoulder gently shaking him. He felt like crap and just wanted to sleep. But the hand was soon followed by a soft voice, a command even after all this time he obeyed.

"Sam, I need to work on your side dude. Just help me roll you over and I'll do the rest." Dean's voice was filled with concern. Sam moved his arm to comply with his brother's request but stopped when agony once again erupted.

"Gah!" Sam cried out as he curled the arm back to his chest.

"Take it easy Sam; let me do the work—I don't need you pulling out any stitches." Sam simply nodded his approval. Using his hands and arms was definitely a bad idea. He grunted slightly when his brother pulled him onto his side. "Now try to stay still Sam—this is going to hurt but I gotta open the stitches and clean it out…"

Sweat fell into his eyes as he tried to work through what was happening. His thoughts were scattered until all he could do was feel—which was a bad thing since all he felt right now was pain and..."S'hot" Sam complained.

"I know, you have a fever. As soon as we get this cleaned out I'll get some ice and we'll work on getting you cooled down. Now stay still…"

Sam felt the cool air hit his heated flesh as his T-shirt was pulled up and out of the way. He hissed as the bandage was pulled from his tender skin, his mind going back to the pain he'd felt when Adam—no the ghoul was digging around inside his abdomen. Even now he thought he could feel the tearing of flesh and muscle as the finger was pushed deeper and deeper inside him. "Stop please…"

"_Why Sam? Why did I have to die?" Adam stood in front of Sam, his eyes blazing as he stared at him._

"_Not my fault…" Sam whispered_

"_No that's right, poor Sammy can't get away from the family curse. But you're still living, still breathing while I'm rotting in a grave. "The man he'd thought was Adam moved to lean against the wall. "You know, our Dad, what little I got to see of him was really something wasn't he? I mean, he led more than one secret life—how many other secrets do you think he kept Sammy?"_

A sharp pain lanced through Sam's side, soft words flowed over him but he couldn't make them out as he watched Adam move closer to the bed. He wanted to sit up, to face Adam but his body was too weak.

"_He protected you, kept you out of the family business—not my fault—should have warned you…" Sam's voice cracked as a moan was ripped from his lips._

"_Or maybe he should have just taken care of the source from the beginning—he knew you were a monster in the making, he should have killed you but no, he had to try to save you. I suffered because the man didn't have the guts to kill the monster living right under his nose!" Sam rolled back as Adam moved closer, his eyes inches from the young hunters face._

"_You're a monster Sam, no better than the filthy things you hunt—why do you deserve to live?"_

"No Adam—please—tried—tried to protect you…" Sam felt strong hands holding him down, he couldn't move.

"NO! Stop—Oh God!" The pain of something ripping through his flesh caused him to cry out. He pushed with his arms against the force holding him but there was no give, no use. A small laugh started as he realized he was the one who was supposed to be strong enough to stop Lilith—yet here he couldn't even stop a couple of ghouls from making him into the main course. As he felt himself losing, his laughter grew even as the pain exploded in his body. He couldn't stop—as a pair of hands held his head he heard a voice but he was too far lost in his own mirth.

It was just a cosmic joke, he was strong enough to kill demons but in the end he would be brought down by scavengers of the supernatural world. His breathing hitched as it grew harder and harder for him to catch his breath, his eyes searched for the one person who could save him but everything was blurred and surreal. "Dean!" Sam whispered as a final shudder went through him before he lapsed into the beckoning darkness.

Raven524: Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I guess I just felt like there had to still be some brotherly moments, even if both weren't on the same page. As I feared, this story has once again grown...next chapter will be up soon


	3. Chapter 3 The Long Road Back

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

**A Stitch in Time**

**Chapter 3 – Long Road Back**

Dean listened to the one sided conversation his brother was having. For a moment he looked up expecting to see the ghost of their brother Adam standing there. It dawned on him that he hadn't taken care of the bodies. As soon as Sam was able, they would salt and burn the mother but they would give Adam a proper Winchester burial. The poor kid deserved it.

Deciding he needed to get this over quickly, he removed the stitches and began to clean inside the wound. He wrinkled his nose as the puss oozed from the deep wound. He was going to have to irrigate it again with holy water and peroxide. Damn his brother wasn't going to get a break. Taking a deep breath and bracing an arm to hold Sam still he poured the holy water over the wound. He sighed when there was no reaction. "Well at least we know the infection isn't supernatural—now for the hard part."

The hunter tightened his hold and poured the peroxide into the wound. He continued to pour even as Sam struggled and moaned beneath him. He knew he had to keep doing it until the liquid stopped bubbling. It seemed to take forever, but it was only minutes before he was satisfied that the wound was clean. He patted Sam on the shoulder but wasn't prepared for his brother to lurch up. He found himself sitting on the floor looking up at his flailing baby brother.

"NO! Stop—Oh God!" Sam tried to push himself up on the bed using his injured arms. Dean could see blood seeping from the fresh bandages as he continued to try to get away from whatever he was seeing in his fevered state. His brother's eyes were totally unfocused and he knew he wasn't seeing him but he had to try to calm him down before he did more damage.

"Sam—Sam, listen to me." Dean cried as he jumped up and gently tried to soothe his younger sibling. He thought maybe he'd gotten through when Sam's shoulders suddenly slumped, his head lolling back to the headboard as he collapsed.

"That's right Sam, just relax. I've got you." Dean said softly as he brushed the sweat soaked bangs back from his brother's eyes. He could feel the tremors and worried that the fever was getting worse again. If this kept up, he'd have no choice but to bring Sam to the hospital. For now, he'd settle for having his little brother lying down so he could check his wounds and finish fixing the one on his side.

"Come on Sam, let me help you lie down. .." His brother didn't resist as he slowly lowered him back onto the mattress. He checked the arms and sighed. There was a small amount of blood, but not enough to worry about. "Okay, looks like we just need to finish up with your side and then its night night for Sammy…"

Suddenly, Sam blinked slowly a smile curving his lips before a chuckle escaped. "What's so funny Sam?" But his brother continued to chuckle until he was laughing so hard it was clear he was having trouble catching his breath. "Sam, listen to me—you have to calm down!" But his brother continued until he was gasping for air. Dean was just getting ready to slap him in the face when his eyes suddenly rolled up as his body began to tremble.

"Dean!" Sam whispered as a final shudder coursed through his frame before he went limp.

"Sam!" Dean yelled as he quickly checked for a pulse. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he found one. It was a bit rapid for his liking, but at least it was still strong. Deciding to finish up before his brother came to again, he lightly tapped his sibling's shoulder. "Just take a nap while I finish this up Sam—at least you won't be feeling any pain."

He quickly finished cleaning the wound on Sam's side. He decided for the time being that stitching would have to wait. He was going to probably have to clean it out a few more times to make sure the infection was stopped before he sealed the skin again. He placed a fresh bandage over the wound and then gently removed the T-shirt from his brother. He could see the sweat still beading on his face and chest.

"Okay, wounds are treated now its time to do something about that fever." Dean removed Sam's sleeping pants and left him lying in his boxers. He quickly grabbed the ice bucket before he turned to leave. "I'll be right back Sam." He knew his little brother probably couldn't hear him, but he felt better saying it as he quickly left the room. The sooner he got the ice and returned the better he'd feel.

_Two Days Later…_

Sam blinked at the bright light filtering through the curtains on the hotel window. His eyes moved slowly to the lump on the bed next to him. His brother obviously had finally given in to his body's need for some rest. He raised his arm and winced at the pull of the stitches. It was still painful, but not as bad as it had been. His side still ached along with his head, but even these seemed manageable. The big problem now was his incredible need to pee and then find something to drink.

Slowly Sam swung his long legs over the edge of the bed, using their momentum to help pull himself to a sitting position. The room swam in his vision and he almost toppled but his need for relief was stronger than his need to pass out. He probably should call Dean, but he already felt guilty about tying his brother down to care for him. After all, he was a Winchester and it was past time for him to suck it up and move on.

He leaned forward and slowly stood on coltish legs. Moving at a snails pace, he managed to shuffle his way to the bathroom. He closed the door softly, congratulating himself on getting there when he heard a voice on the other side.

"Call when you're done Sam. We don't need you falling again and breaking open your stitches." Dean's tired voice echoed in the small room. Sam shook his head. He should have known his brother would hear him. He just wondered why he let him walk to the bathroom unassisted. Of course, since Dean had come back from his vacation downstairs, he hadn't been as quick to help Sam.

At first the young hunter thought it was because his brother realized he'd grown up while he was gone. But as time moved on and the wall between them grew, he realized it was probably because his big brother was tired of carrying the load. So he'd taken his Dad's attitude of self-reliance and took care of himself whenever possible. Although, if he was honest with himself, he did miss having someone to share the load with—even if it was to have his big brother going into overprotective mother hen mode. He missed the closeness they had shared and the feeling of protection his brother had given without complaint.

But now he knew he no longer deserved it—he'd corrupted himself past redemption. Once Dean found out what he was doing, the reasons wouldn't matter—he'd be a monster in Dean's eyes and something his brother would feel the need to kill. A tear fell down his cheek as he finished and moved to look at himself in the mirror. The haunted gaze that looked back was so different even he had trouble recognizing himself. He had changed and there was no going back now. He had to see this through not only for Dean but for all the other innocents who would suffer if he failed to kill Lilith.

He filled a glass with water and tried to bring it to his lips. His hands shook so badly he could barely steady the cup. He looked up and stared at himself—he knew what he needed but the question was how? Dean was constantly watching him. A loud knock on the door brought him back from his musings.

"Sam, anytime today would be good…"

"Just a minute Dude, I'm coming." Sam replied as he emptied what was left in the glass and finished washing up. A shower would probably feel good, but he didn't think he had the strength to stand long enough. It was best to give in for now and let Dean take care of him. Eventually he'd be able to get what he really needed for a complete recovery.

He slowly opened the door and gazed into the worried eyes of his brother. Dean glanced at him before reaching in and placing a steadying hand around his waist. Sam was actually grateful for the assist as he moved back towards the bed. It was amazing how exhausting a trip to the bathroom could be.

"Thanks Dean…" Sam sighed as he let his brother help him back into the bed. "Ah Dean?"

"Yeah Sam?"

"How long?"

Dean patted the blanket after he pulled it up to cover his sibling. "A little over 2 days now. The wound on your side got infected. Bobby said it was probably from the ghoul's. Evidently they carry bacteria—who knew?"

Sam laughed softly as he shifted and tried to get comfortable. As he lay back on the bed, he realized he'd forgotten how thirsty he was. The small amount of water he'd drank did nothing to quench his body's need for moisture. His brother sat beside him and looked at him for a moment before he responded.

"I bet you're thirsty—do you think you can hold down some broth? I bought some of the canned stuff yesterday when I went shopping."

"You left?" Sam was surprised. In the past, his brother never would have left him unattended. He didn't know why, but it hurt.

"Only for about twenty minutes Sam. I had to, we were out of fever reducer and you needed it. I grabbed the broth and some of that sports drink while I was there." Dean placed a calming hand on Sam's shoulder. "I never went far Sam…"

Sam heard the apology behind the words. He never really thought Dean had left him, but he was also sure once he found out about the demon blood—he'd walk away and never turn back. He felt his throat tighten at the thought of losing the one constant in his life. He jumped as he felt his brother's hand cup the back of his neck.

"Honest Sam, I won't leave you. I meant it when I said we were in this together. I just—I just needed time to think…" Dean looked down, his guilt was almost painful to see and Sam was not going to allow it to continue.

"It's okay Dean. I understand. Really—if you need to blow off steam you shouldn't feel bad about it. But you have to realize that I still think we need to use Ruby's intel to help us find Lilith. I'm not replacing you with her—I'm just…" Sam watched as Dean stood, his posture stiffened. He sighed as he realized he never should have brought up her name. This was why he didn't talk to his big brother anymore. All it did was lead to arguments and he was tired of it.

He heard a soft sigh as Dean turned back to face him. "So you didn't answer me Sam, broth or sports drink—I got you the girly purple one."

Sam rolled his eyes, glad his brother had fallen back to the Winchester rule of avoidance. If you can't talk about it ignore it. "How about both?"

"Okay, but if you do your Linda Blair impression again—you get to clean up the mess puke boy!" Dean grinned as he turned and went to get things ready.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean flipped channels, his mind churning almost as fast as the flashes of programs while he surfed. While Sam seemed to be getting better, his brother had been unusually fidgety all afternoon. He knew neither of them liked to be in one place too long, but if he didn't know better he would have thought his brother was on something.

Maybe Bobby was right. He wouldn't put it past Ruby to give his brother some kind of brew she'd made up. She seemed to be able to come up with powerful hex bags whenever needed. A concoction to bind Sam to her wouldn't be hard for her. He gazed over at his little brother. The more he thought about it, the more he believed she had done something to him.

His little brother never would have willingly worked with a demon in the past. Of course, when he had been desperate to save Dean from hell that made sense. But he was back and they no longer needed the witch's help so the only thing he could think was she was controlling him somehow. He just needed to be patient and watch until she tipped her hand. Once he knew what she was doing to his little brother, he'd stop her for good this time.

He gazed over as he heard rustling and mumbling coming from the other bed. His brother was never one to sleep peacefully, but it was clear something was bothering him as his mumbling became louder. Dean got up and moved over to the bed. His hand automatically checked for fever and smiled at the lack of heat.

"Shhhh Sam, you're safe." Dean whispered as his hand dropped down to his brother's shoulder and squeezed lightly. There was a soft sigh as Sam moved into his touch and for a moment it was like old times again. At least unconscious his brother still responded to him, still trusted him. But awake was another story.

The older hunter waited a few more minutes until he as sure his brother was resting peacefully before he moved into the small kitchen area. He opened the fridge and pulled out a cold beer. He knew he wouldn't be going back to sleep any time soon. Not wanting to wake Sam, he moved outside and sat on one of the steps leading to the second level of the motel. The sounds of the night surrounded him, lulling him with their chorus. A soft sigh escaped the man's lips as he drank from the cool bottle.

His mind wandered back to the problem at hand. He knew Sam was hiding things from him, he wasn't stupid. But he also knew his brother wouldn't share until he was ready. Just like their Dad, the harder you pushed the more stubborn he'd become. No Dean had learned patience with his father and now he'd use the same approach with Sam.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he looked up into the night sky. "Well Dad, you'd be proud of your youngest son now. He's turned out just like you. Nothing exists but the hunt now, just like you taught him. Hell, you should have heard him with Adam, for a moment I thought it was you talking."

Shaking his head, Dean took another sip of his beer. "You know Dad, there is more to hunting than revenge—there has to be. The one thing you taught us is there is a right and wrong. I'm afraid Sam has forgotten or at least he is choosing to ignore it. I mean he's working with a demon Dad—a DEMON." A fist slammed into the concrete of the step. "I don't know how to get through to him anymore, I'm not even sure I should try…"

"_If you can't save him Dean, you'll have to kill him…"_ His father's dying words echoed in his mind.

"You took the easy way out Dad. But I can't do that; I can't give up on him just yet. There has to be a way to save him and I'll find it. I won't let my brother turn into a monster." He quickly finished his beer and rose to return to the room. He didn't want Sam to wake and find him gone. He took one last look at the stars and sighed. "Yeah, you took the easy way out old man…"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam sat on the edge of the bed, his mind on fire as he looked towards the bathroom door. He could hear the shower going inside. Now was the time to act, before his brother returned. The last three days has been hard with his brother's constant hovering. He knew part of what was wrong with him could be fixed by what he had in the bottom of his bag.

He recognized the symptoms from before. Ruby told him it was just a reaction to the blood but now he wasn't so sure. He wasn't stupid. He knew he was addicted. But he never worried about it because the truth was, he didn't think he'd be coming back from the battle to come. He was the one who was already tainted from birth, so adding more to it didn't seem like such a bad thing. Especially since it was clear it amped up his powers. Look what happened to Alistair.

If he hadn't drank more of Ruby's blood his brother would be dead—again. No, a little demon juice was a small price to pay to keep his brother safe and to end Lilith. He glanced once more at the door before he moved to the end of the bed. He bent over and searched through his bag. He panicked for a moment when his hand didn't find the silver flask. Then he remembered, he'd put it in his coat pocket.

Sighing, Sam staggered to his feet and moved towards the kitchen chair where his coat now hung. The room swirled around him, but he refused to fall this time. He'd tried yesterday but only ended up doing a face plant. Luckily Dean bought the excuse that he was trying for the bathroom. This time though he wouldn't fail. He didn't know how bad it would get and he didn't want to find out.

Slowly he managed to make it to the chair. He sat down heavily on the seat while his hand reached into his pocket. A sigh escaped his lips when his hand returned with the silver flask. Thank God it was full. He had left messages for Ruby, but she still hadn't returned his calls. Luckily they had come up with a way to supply him in case of an emergency.

He slowly removed the cap and looked at the dark red liquid within. For a moment a small voice screamed at him to stop but his need was too great as he poured a small amount into his hand and began to drink. The taste was disgusting, in fact the whole thing was disgusting but he was past caring at this point. If he didn't get better soon, Dean would suspect something was wrong with him. He couldn't have the conversation with his brother—not until after Lilith was gone.

The young hunter sat back for a moment with his eyes closed. In the past the small amount of blood he'd ingested would have made him feel better but as he looked down his hands still shook and he still felt weak. Maybe he needed more because of the blood loss. He took a quick look at the bathroom door before he filled his hand once more to drink. He quickly lapped up the blood, replacing the flask in his coat pocket just in case Dean came out of the shower.

He'd used half of his supply and still he wasn't feeling back to normal. He looked down and smiled as his hands finally stilled. The shakiness of the past few days was gone but he still felt weak. Of course, part of that was probably his body still recovering from what had been done to him. The rest of what he was feeling was actually normal for the type of injuries he'd sustained.

Normal—a soft chuckle escaped Sam's lips as he realized he was so far from normal it wasn't funny any more. His head jerked up as he heard the sounds of his brother getting out of the shower. Time to get his game face back on; he couldn't let Dean know what he'd done. He looked down to make sure no blood showed on his hands as he quickly wiped at his mouth. There couldn't be any signs or his brother would figure it out. A moment later the door opened and his brother emerged followed by a cloud of steam.

"I left you a little hot water Sam. Are you up to taking a shower?" Dean looked at Sam for a moment, his eyes checking him over. It was the way his brother always did before and for once Sam was glad. It meant his big brother was still in there, still cared at least a little about him.

"I'm good…" Sam stood and swayed for a brief moment before his head cleared. "Really dude, I'm feeling better today." He moved slowly towards his bag and smiled as Dean picked it up and put it on the bed for him. It was a small gesture but one he appreciated.

"Leave the bandages off when you finish. I want to check the wounds before I bandage them again." Dean replied as he moved to his own bag to get his clothes.

"Sure Dean—and thanks…" Sam said quietly as he headed for the bathroom. He almost didn't hear his brother's soft reply.

"No problem Sam…"

TBC

Raven524: Well about one more chapter should finish this story up. Thanks for all the reviews! I can't believe how many of you like this story. A big hug to you all!


	4. Chapter 4 Family Remains

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

**A Stitch in Time**

**Chapter 4 – Family Remains**

It had been a long ten days but as Dean removed the stitches from his brother's arms he was reminded once again how close he'd come to losing his little brother. "Hold still, I'm almost done princess."

"It itches Dean" Sam complained as he tried to scratch at the newly healed skin.

"Leave it alone, you'll make it scar…" Dean smiled at the slight eye roll he received for the comment.

"Like that matters—no one will even notice." Sam muttered as he sat back and waited for his big brother to finish.

"See that's your problem Sam. I know chicks dig some scars, but this—not cool. So sit still and let me finish."

"So when are we going to go get Adam?" Sam said softly. Dean was startled but then he should have known his little brother would be aware that something had to be done.

"Well if you're up for it, I thought we'd go over there later tonight. We need to salt and burn all the remains in that crypt, just in case. I thought we'd give Adam a proper burning though. Dean looked up and saw the question in his brother eyes. But Sam didn't ask.

"Okay, you're all set. How about we head over to the diner and grab some lunch before we leave town. I figure we can hang out at the bar until it's time to leave. I need to earn us a little more pocket change and you can start looking for out next hunt."

"Fine, but our next hunt should be to locate Lilith. We have to stop her from breaking any more seals." Sam rolled his long sleeve shirt down to hide the still visible scars. Other than still feeling a little weak, he was back to fighting fit. He had hated waiting ten days, but Dean had insisted.

Ten days and his supply was running dangerously low. If he couldn't get hold of Ruby soon—well he didn't really want to think about it. Sam stood and quickly grabbed his coat and duffle as he followed his brother out the door. The truth was, he really wasn't hungry but spending a few hours with his brother was fine. Besides, in the bar he could make some calls while Dean was busy—maybe this time Ruby would answer.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam sat in the Impala and waited while Dean paid the dinner bill. Neither of them had eaten much and the conversation had been almost non-existent. It reminded Sam of meals when their Dad was alive. They'd stop and grab some food, maybe talk about the current hunt but mostly they would just try to get the task of eating done so their Dad could get back on the road. A sigh left his lips as he realized how many of the things his father had done seemed harsh but now—maybe not so much.

He pulled out his cell phone as another shiver ran over his lanky frame. He dialed and watched as Dean grinned at the waitress before heading back inside towards the bathroom. He waited anxiously but once more only Ruby's voice mail answered. Sam left another urgent message and closed the phone. His hand shook slightly as he placed it back inside his coat. As he removed his hand from the pocket, it brushed against the silver flask.

For a moment it was almost as if the flask was calling to him. The urge to take a drink was impossible to ignore. As he pulled the container from his pocket, he gazed at it. Surely one little sip wouldn't hurt, just a little to get him through until he could meet up with Ruby again. As he uncapped the bottle he looked within the dark depths and shuddered as once again he realized how far from the road he'd strayed. If Dean ever found out…

As if on cue he heard the soft crunch of boots on gravel and looked up to see Dean heading towards the car. The time to indulge was past. He quickly capped the flask and dropped it back inside his pocket. He rubbed a hand over his face and once again tried to drop his mask of indifference in place. He couldn't let on how bad he was hurting, how weak he was feeling. He had to be the one in control this time. He had to step up to the plate and hit the home run because this time Dean wasn't able.

"Ready Sam?" Dean asked as he climbed into the driver's seat. His green gaze glanced at Sam briefly before he placed the key in the ignition and started off towards town. He never waited for his little brother's answer, but apparently assumed Sam's lack of answer was an acknowledgement that he was ready to take care of Adam.

As the darkness enveloped Sam, he shivered once again. The very night seemed to mirror the darkness he could feel inside him. For a brief moment with Adam, the darkness had lifted. He'd felt needed, like he could save someone again. For once they weren't fighting a demon intent on sending either him or Dean back to hell but a regular Supernatural baddie they could hunt and kill. Old times….

As he stood shoulder to shoulder with Adam and praised his prowess with the gun, he'd realized how his father must have felt when working with Dean. Adam never questioned why he was being asked to do something; in fact he welcomed the challenge and the danger. Not to mention he'd had a natural ability. Of course, how much was Adam's and how much was the ghoul's he'd probably never know. But the emptiness he now felt was just as bad as if he'd known his younger brother all his life. For a short time, he'd been the big brother and he admitted it felt good.

Sam looked sideways at Dean and realized for a moment that he'd taken that from his big brother. Ever since he'd returned from Hell, Sam had been trying to prove to Dean how much he didn't need him to be the protector of his youth, but maybe he'd gone too far. Maybe he should have let his sibling know he still wanted—no needed him by his side. But the time for that had come too late. The way Dean treated him now, held him at a distance was exactly what he deserved. Besides in the end, it would be better for Dean—after…

The young hunter was roused from his thoughts as they pulled into the cemetery and parked next to the crypt. "Come on Sam, I'll go in and you can pull Adam up while I get the others ready." Dean didn't wait for Sam's remark but simply left the car and opened the trunk. Sam sighed and got out. He took the rope Dean handed him along with the shot gun. Some things never changed, his big brother never took anything for granted.

"Let's get this done Sam." Dean remarked as he trudged to the back side of the crypt. There Sam saw the shattered stained glass panel and the dark burial crypt below. He tied one end of the rope around a nearby tree before dropping the other end into the hole. Before he could say anything Dean had dropped the bag he'd brought with him into the hole and gracefully lowered himself into the darkness. Sam rubbed his hands together as the chill of the night seemed to sink into his very bones. He could hear the sound of his brother working below. It was the only sound that broke the oppressive silence around him. "You almost done Dean?" Sam called out, needing to hear his brother's voice; to know he was okay.

"Yeah, give me a sec—okay, I've got him tied off. Haul him up!" Dean called from below as he guided the linen wrapped body of Adam up into the night air. Sam pulled; sweat broke out on his brow as the weight increased. For a moment, he felt dizzy and the rope slipped slightly in his hands.

"You okay up there Sammy?" A concerned voice echoed from below.

"Yeah, just slipped…" Sam managed as he shook his head and began once more to pull Adam through the small opening. He gently laid the corpse beside him before he removed the rope and dropped the other end into the hole. "All set Dean." He called as he gently picked the body up and placed it over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. He knew his brother would be fine handling the rest.

A short time later, both boys stared at the body of the brother they'd never known. The pyre had been built and all that was left was the burning. A lump formed in Sam's throat as he gazed at Adam. He'd died too soon, like so many of their family. The list of relatives and friends Ruby had given him—all dead. His own parents and his girlfriend—dead. Even their friends, Dean never spoke of what he'd found when he discovered Ash's body; but it had to have been bad. The Road House, burned to the ground with all the hunters inside. So much death…

"You sure we should do this?" Sam whispered softly.

Dean broke a twig and tossed it on the fire before he reached back and grabbed the lighter fluid. "The ghouls didn't fake those pictures, they didn't fake Dad's journal—Adam was our brother. He died like a hunter and he deserves to go out like one." Dean poured the fluid over the body and stepped back.

"Maybe we could bring him back, get hold of Cas—call in a favor" Sam tried again, unwilling to let yet another Winchester feed the flames. But Dean wasn't having any of it this time. With a soft sigh he lit the match and tossed it onto the pyre.

"No—Adam's in a better place."

As the flames grew brighter both men watched; each locked within their own thoughts. Sam could see the sadness on Dean's face and wondered what was going through his brother's mind. He almost asked when his older brother began to talk softly.

"You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much." Dean paused and swallowed but still gazed into the flames. Sam wondered where his brother was going with this, but knew if he said anything his brother would close up on him. He waited to for Dean to continue.

"I mean, I worshiped the guy, I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music…" Dean paused as his hand brushed the leather jacket he wore before he started speaking again. Sam saw the pain on his brother's face and would have given anything to see it erased. But too much had happened to them both over the past year. Dean no longer seemed to want to hear what Sam had to say—not since the Siren's attack.

"But you are more like him than I will ever be and I see that now…" Dean paused and swallowed as he looked into the flames. He never once looked at Sam; it was almost like he was talking to himself and not the man who stood beside him. Sam swallowed, a slight tear formed but refused to fall as he realized his brother no longer looked up to his Dad and by proxy, no longer believe in him. He wanted to argue, to fight back but the desolation on his brother's face stopped him. They'd come too far to go back now. The young hunter squared his shoulders and gazed at the fire that had consumed so much of their lives. "I'll take that as a compliment." Sam said simply.

Dean shook his head and replied, "You take it any way you want…."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean glanced over at the sleeping form of his younger brother as they drove down the highway. He had no destination in mind, no direction. Lately, that's all he'd been doing—just riding the wind and hoping he wouldn't fall. As he watched Adam burn, he mourned what could have been. The life he could have had if the demon hadn't latched onto their family. He still remembered the family life he'd had for such a brief time. It was slowly faded now, but still remained.

He should be angry with his Dad for not telling them about Adam, but he understood. He and Sam never had a choice and their Father understood it. He'd known Sam was targeted from birth and had taken the steps he felt were necessary to protect them all. He'd trained Dean to take over and protect Sam should something happen to him. Yes, he'd done what he could and it took its toll on the man. So Dean couldn't begrudge him the brief moments of happiness he'd managed to find. He just wished his Dad had trusted him with the knowledge of his other son.

A soft moan from the seat beside him brought him back to the present. Sam was tossing slightly, his brow furrowed and a slight sheen of sweat showed on his face. Dean reached over and gently touched his brother's cheek, checking for fever and smiling when he found none. It was a dream then that was making his brother scowl. He watched for a few more minutes before Sam curled back against the door and fell once more into a fitful sleep.

The older hunter stretched tired muscles and decided it was time to find them a hotel to spend the rest of the night. Sam was still recovering and he could use the break. He searched the road ahead and found a small hotel just off the highway. He quickly registered them and returned to the car without Sam waking. He could see small shivers in his brother's frame and wondered once more if it was just the injuries he'd sustained or something more. Deciding he didn't want to deal with any more tonight he pulled up outside room 103 and parked.

"Sam—time to wake." Dean said softly as he shook his sibling's shoulder. Hazel eyes blinked at him before a hand wiped away the sweat that had gathered on his brother's face.

"Where?"

"I'm not sure Sam—just another hotel and another bed for us to stretch out in. We'll just spend the night and decide where to go tomorrow…" Dean got out and opened the trunk. A moment later he heard the passenger door open as he handed Sam his own duffle. The two tired hunters entered the room and grimaced at the dirty brown carpet. The room smelled of smoke and stale sex but right now as long as it had a bed and a working shower, neither cared.

"I'm going to grab a shower Dean." Sam called out as he dropped his bag at the end of his bed. He grabbed a change of clothes and his kit and headed into the bathroom. Dean simply shook his head and sat on the end of the bed, too tired to even respond. Normally he'd switch on the TV and wait for Sam to finish but the silence in the room fit his mood.

He was sitting in the same position when Sam came out of the shower. "I left you some hot water." Sam offered. It was an olive branch, brother speak for 'are we okay' but for once Dean just couldn't play the game. He simply nodded and grabbed his own clothes and headed for the shower. He heard the soft sigh behind him and for a brief moment, guilt stabbed his heart. He turned and nodded at the door.

"Be sure to lay down the salt Sam and get some sleep. We'll get an early start tomorrow." His voice sounded flat even to himself, but it was the best he could do for now. It would have to be enough as he headed into the shower to cleanse himself of the smell of death that always seemed to cling to him these days.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam blinked as he watched Dean disappear into the bathroom. It was clear his brother was retreating behind his wall again and had put out the do not disturb sign. He dropped his dirty clothes into the bag, placed salt around the door and windows, and pulled down the covers on the bed. The sheets were thin and the mattress was lumpy but he'd slept on worse. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited until the sounds of the shower filled the room. He moved quietly towards his coat and grabbed out his cell phone. He could tell there were no messages.

His anger flared as he dialed Ruby's number. As usual, her voice mail was all that greeted him. He figured leaving another message was useless as he slammed the phone shut and returned it to his coat. He pulled the flask from his pocket and sighed as he quickly dumped a small amount of blood onto his hand. As he licked the viscous fluid into his mouth, his conversation with Chuck came to mind.

"_You know it's wrong…" Chuck had admonished._

"_I wish to God I could stop…" _Sam had replied and he'd meant it

Even now, he could feel the familiar burn as the blood traveled down his throat, the warmth flowing through him along with the feeling of power it always brought. His mind went back to the clandestine meetings with Ruby, her knife cutting into her milky flesh until the dark red blood boiled to the surface. The pure ecstasy he felt when he fed from her and then the release when they had finished. The pure need that had scared him at first, but now drew him to her like a moth to the flame.

He quickly capped the flask and returned it to his coat pocket. He checked to make sure there was no sign of his transgression before he returned to the bed and switched on the TV. The local news was playing, but he didn't hear it as he tried ignore the blood now swirling inside him. He felt strong, more than capable of taking down Lillith and any of her minions who were nearby. Why couldn't Dean understand?

They couldn't kill her with the knife, he'd tried and failed. If it hadn't been for the Archangel's appearance, they all would have died that night. He also sensed her fear, not of Dean but of him. She knew what he could do and was willing to barter for her life. The Angels may be backing Dean, but the demons feared Sam. Once he'd killed Lillith and stopped the breaking of the seals, then he'd explain it all to Dean. That is if he made it through. In the end, all that mattered to him now was to end it for both of them. If he didn't survive—it would be worth it.

Dean would have Bobby this time around and with the distance that had grown between them, probably would be relieved if Sam died. He'd no longer have his little brother holding him back from the life he deserved. Yes, Sam was doing the right thing and even if it meant losing Dean because of it—at least his brother would be alive.

The door opened and Dean emerged from the bathroom. His hair was still damp as he dropped his dirty clothes on the floor and climbed into his own bed. His hand reached under the pillow before he reached up and turned out the light. "Night Sam…" Dean said simply as he turned his head and proceeded to fall asleep.

Sam continued to watch his brother for awhile before his own exhaustion drew him into troubled dreams where he glimpsed the monster he was to become—if he wasn't one already.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The lake rippled gently against the shore as the bobbin gently rocked on the waves. Dean sat on the dock, his fishing pole held loosely between his hands. He gazed up at the perfect day and let the sun bathe his face. The peace and tranquility of the setting healing that part of his soul that thought it would never see this again.

Suddenly he felt another presence. "We need to talk." Cas said softly.

Dean grimaced but looked up at the Angel standing beside him. "I'm dreaming aren't I?" Of course, it was a dream—his real life was never peaceful or serene.

"It's not safe here; someplace more private." The angel remarked as if it made perfect sense for him to be here.

"More private? We're inside my head!" Dean quipped as he tried to get his mind around the fact that the Angel was able to talk to him in his mind. He wasn't sure how much he liked that idea. If Cas could read his thoughts then who else…

"Exactly, someone could be listening…" Cas replied as if it was common sense. Dean shook his head and noticed the worried look on the Angel's face. Since when did Cas show emotion? Sitting up straighter Dean asked.

"Cas, What's wrong?"

But the Angel refused to answer other than to pass him a folded up piece of white paper. Dean glanced at the location before he looked questioningly up at Cas. "Meet me here—Go—Now!"

The urgency in the voice along with the sound of the truck horn jerked Dean from his sleep. He gazed around the room and almost went back to sleep but something in the back of his mind refused to let him ignore the command. Sighing he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, the peace of the lake now replaced by the dark dinginess of his life as he stood and reached for his brother's still form.

"Wake up Sam—we gotta go!" Dean called out as he grabbed his clothes. "You can sleep in the car…"

"D'n? Wha?" Sam muttered as he sat up and stared at his fully dressed sibling. Dean continued to stuff their things into their bags. He threw some clothes at Sam before going towards the bathroom. "Get dressed, we leave in five…"

"Why?" Sam asked as he reached for his own clothes. "What's wrong Dean?"

Dean returned to the room and headed for the door after grabbing his bag. He paused at the door and sighed. "Everything Sam…."

The End!

Raven524: Well hopefully the ending on this didn't disappoint you all. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the tale. *hugs* to you all!


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